


Thievery

by Trickster_Angel



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Fast Food, Gen, Humor, Set between May 16th and June 15th, Stealing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27393550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: Nico has a craving for fast food. She's not the only one.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	Thievery

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this yesterday to avoid election news. I'm posting it today to avoid election news. Pray for us, people.

Nico had been sitting in the van for three hours. She'd smoked five cigarettes, fiddled with the newest Devil Breaker she'd made and checked her stock of items twice. 

She was  _ bored _ . And hungry. Her stomach growled every couple of seconds. She didn't have any food in the van and was craving fast food. As nice as Kyrie's home cooked meals were, sometimes a girl wanted a greasy burger. And while that was harder to get after Redgrave, Nico was a determined person. While she didn’t mind chauffeuring Nero to and from Redgrave to fight, sometimes, she wanted to use her van to her advantage. 

Nero wasn’t supposed to be back for a few hours. Sure, she had to be on call, but she knew there was a fast food place in the next city. It wasn’t far. And if it took longer to get to him, Nero wouldn’t mind. She’d just say she got held up by demons. 

With her mind made up, Nico put the van into drive and hurried down the road. There weren’t any demons and no cars either, which meant she could speed and no one would care. 

After fifteen minutes, she saw signs for her destination. She turned off the nearly abandoned highway. She slowed down a little as she entered city limits. Not a lot. There were cars here but it wasn’t as crowded as it had once been. Probably because the next town over was demon city. She could still see the Qliphoth and the dark clouds surrounding it. Probably bad for business. She was doing them a favor, really.

She pulled into the drive through and ordered a burger and fries. Just as she was waiting for her food, the phone rang. “Devil May Cry.”

“Nico. I could use your assistance.”

It was a little odd when V called but she wasn’t one to refuse. 

“Sure thing. Where ya at?”

He told her his location and she jotted it down. “Right. Be there in a jiff.”

Luckily, that was when her food arrived. Nico paid and threw the food on the passenger seat for the drive back to Redgrave. She didn’t really have time to eat yet. Once she got to V, she would. Hopefully it wouldn’t be cold by then.

The trip back to Redgrave was as uneventful as leaving it. She didn’t encounter any demons but found plenty of streets torn up by Qliphoth roots. Not that she let that stop her. She had to get to V quickly or she couldn’t eat. So if she took her turns a little quickly, even for her, she wasn’t to be blamed. A girl wants to eat when a girl wants to eat!

As she rounded the last corner, with a loud screech from the van, she saw the phone booth V was at. He was leaning against it, and looked at her calmly. Nico parked the van right next to him.

She went to the back of the van to open the door and offer V the items she’d collected for sale. The Devil Bringers were exclusively for Nero but she could give him other things to help.

V climbed into the van and looked at the items she had. Behind him, Griffon flew in. He perched on the headrest of her seat.

“You better not scratch my seat,” Nico said.

“Do I look stupid to you?” Griffon replied, “You’ll just get mad at V.”

“Aww, your chicken likes you,” Nico said.

“I’m not a chicken,” Griffon said, flapping his wings angrily, “I’ll tear your seat on purpose.”

“Do that, and I’ll make you into a Devil Bringer,” Nico said. 

“Griffon, if I could have Nico’s attention,” V said. 

Griffon huffed but shut up. Nico turned her attention back to V, who wanted one of the gold orbs she had.

She heard rustling behind her but didn’t think too much of it. That was her mistake.

“Hmm, not bad,” Griffon muttered.

Nico was counting through the red orbs when she turned to see Griffon sitting on the armrest of the passenger seat.

“Hey!” she called.

He looked at her, a French fry in his guilty little beak.

“You little thief,” she said, dropping all the orbs she had. She rushed over to him but he took off, trying to fly over her head. Luckily, the van wasn’t that tall. She grabbed his talon and yanked him back down, catching him by the throat.

“You don’t go stealin’ a girl’s fries,” she yelled, shaking him as she did. 

She definitely heard V snickering behind her but she didn’t care. The damn demon was stealing her food and she wouldn't stand for it.

There was another rustling that this time, she didn’t ignore. So she saw Shadow grabbing the bag in her mouth.

“Hey!” she shouted, dropping Griffon to go for her food, "Give that back!"

But Shadow was faster and rushed towards the back of the van. Nico ran after her, barreling past V. Shadow jumped off the back and ripped the bag open, feasting on her gloriously greasy burger. 

“You damn thief! That was my burger!”

Griffon laughed as he flew out of the van and sat next to Shadow, eating the fries as she ate the burger. Nico collapsed, watching in horror as the lunch she’d been craving was devoured by the demons in less than a minute.

When they were done, they looked at her for a moment before moving away from the scene of the crime. All that was left were the wrappers and the remnants of the paper bag.

Nico looked at the trash, as if it would put itself back together into her lunch. But after a few seconds of remaining trash, she got up and stalked back into the van. V was watching her, his face stoic. 

“Alright, all prices have doubled,” she said, holding out a hand for more orbs.

V didn’t protest and gave her what she wanted. Well, it wasn’t what she wanted, but it would have to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a kudos or comment if you liked the story. If you'd like to see sneak previews of my upcoming works and get writing tips, please check out my writing blog: a-writing-trickster-angel.tumblr.com


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